disturbing scenes ahead

diahoerrea is referred to as ‘the runs’ or ‘dio’ in the following entry. Also be warned graphic scenes are ahead only read it if are not planning to eat for a while and have a strong stomach.

So I went to vegas and then came back and then the trouble started. Just a bit of background, we didn’t fly directly to or from Vegas because it was too expensive instead we went via Detroit on the way there and via Minneapolis on the way back. That’s right you guessed it we took the long way round and it took us 18 hours each way when really if we weren’t so tight it would have taken us 10 hours. We are stupid.

Anyway so the last night in Vegas we went out and got boozed and the Jamie vomited. Ununasul, because he does not puke easily off booze, in fact only 2 times in the 11 years I have known him and because on both of those times he couldn’t stand but in Vegas he could stand and most entertainly for me, dance. So on the last night in Vegas he puked and then all the way home on the plane he bitched and said he had a sore stomach and had the runs. But I did not believe him because I thought he was faking.

Then we got home and slept on the Monday night and we went to work on Tuesday and all morning on Tuesday I felt funny. I thought it was because of jet lag and then the tidal wave hit.

You know when you can feel your bowls move and you go pale and realise that even if you had superman’s speed you could not make it to the toilet on time. So that hit me, twice. But still I stayed at work because I am a diligent worker and hey it’s only dio what’s the worst that can happen? A whole lot worse as I was about to find out.
So I called Jamie and he was like I am at home I couldn’t stay at work, so I thought bugger it, if he is at home then I should be too. So I went home and thank god I lasted the whole bus ride home but as soon as I was in the door my bowls sensed I was home and then opened.

And I thought I’ll just lie on the couch and then go to the toilet when I need too and watch TV in between movements. Soon the couch was to far from the toilet so I lay in the hall and looked at the TV with my head. Then the hall was too far from the toilet, that’s right the hall. And bear in mind you can walk from one end of the flat to the other in about 2.5 seconds. So I just gave up and sat on the toilet reading trashy women’s mags for about 3 hours and made Jamie tell me what was happening on the cheesy TV movie I was watching.

At first we had a competition to see who had the most bowl movements, yeah that got old real old real fast. We stopped counting after 5 in 1 hour.

And now I have great answered question in life which those of you with weak stomachs may not want to read. Where in hell does all that crap come from? Like really where does it come from? because I passed about 5 days of poo in one hour and still it kept coming.

Anyway obviously I didn’t eat anything all day because I couldn’t stomach it and it wasn’t staying in anyway so really there wasn’t any point.

And then I had no energy because I hadn’t eaten and it continues for 48 hours and then I could sleep on my side or my stomach because it hurt so much and then I went to sleep woke up and it started al over again and then I went to back to work and da dun you guessed it, I got my period.

And I rang my sister and told her my tale of diahoerrea woe and she said to me. ‘diahoerrea that’s a hard word to spell.’ And like always, she was right, it’s hard to spell and very hard to have.

That’s all vegas update to come.

xxxxx

A great loss

Murray has died. I am bereft, properly sad. We had fishcakes for dinner last night and I think he smelt them and it tipped him over the edge and I cried this morning twice when I was thinking about his cute little face. I loved him and I don’t want a replacement because I don’t think I can go through the pain of losing another fish.
Jamie said he had gone to the fish heaven in the sky, I told him to stop taking the piss.

We flushed him, Jamie did it. I was too upset and then Jamie asked if I wanted to say a few words but I couldn’t face looking at the toilet knowing Murray was in there, plus he was a big fish not sure if he would get stuck in the toilet and I thought it might get messy. But he went down in one flush.

Remember when Murray would swim on his side and then get pissed off when you didn’t feed him and sulked in the corner of the tank. I’ll always have the memories.

Murray Wohlmuther-Bennett R.I.P you will be missed

Wedding party pictures

On April 12th we got all our friends in London together and had a party to celebrate our wedding. We had a great night and felt much love in the room.
Thanks to every one from coming and for all the lovely pressies.

Many many pictures taking by our friend Mieke, look how brown I am. Before you ask wedding dress is off for another clean due to me dancing on it all night.



Packed dance floor at the end of the night, I didn't realise how many people danced until I saw this photo. Probably because i had so many wines/champagnes/beers and one shot.


Mike nad Rachel getting low, low, low.


Jamie and I fighting over the ipod, we didn't have enough songs, we underestimated how much dancing would be going on.


Emily and Rose


Jamie and I re-created our first dance. I made him do it but yet he won't go and get me chocolate now. Man he is fickle.


Mike our MC and us toasting ourselves, because that is what you do at weddings.



Poeple toasting us because we made speeches.


And more people toasting us.


The happy couple pre ipod fight.


Me and my work friends.

I know you wanted more ...

More pictures of the baby and my dad's arm.








Also am off to vegas tomorrow I am beyond excited, what if I come back a millionaire and never have to work again? This is not a dream I think it is an achieveable goal. Hey I am now a size 10 anything is possible.

xxx

My new nephew

A cuter baby boy I have never seen.
And I will hear no arguments.

Congratulations to the new parents.

xxxx

Please help me

Right so in order to run a half marathon around some of the most beautiful parts of London we have a goal to raise money for charity. So please dig deep and give a few pounds or dollars to help out this great charity who work with children effected by Aids in Africa. It’s a great charity, how could you not want to help them?

In the comments section of the fundraising page guess how long it will take me to complete the run and the closet time gets a bottle of Champagne. As a guide our aim is 2 hours and 30 minutes. Don't forget to include seconds as well!

Also if you are not charity minded please give a bit in support of the biggest athletic challenge of my life. I am a bit nervous about it so need all the support I can get.

I have checked and there is a sweep up vehicle which drives around the course three hours after to start to pick up the stragglers. Hopefully that is not me! But I can’t be sure.

And yes you can donate from NZ thus is the beauty of credit cards.

Here's the link

Xxxx

Celebrations!

My sister has just produced a lovely 8 pound boy two hours ago.

After trying to push he didn’t want to move into the right postion she had a caesarean. Typical Wohlmuther/Mackay baby never doing what it’s told. And when I spoke to her she sounded tired but her usalu practical self.

And I am going to vegas on Wendesday sometimes God sends you more joy than you can handle.

xxxx