Don't tell Jamie

Also bought myself a post-baby present, some new jeans that are wait for it a 29 inch waist. I might be a bit optimistic but it gives me something to aim for. But don't tell Jamie he'll get mad

xxxx

False start

On Monday night i woke up and was convinced i was going into labour, contraction pain and everything and I woke Jamie up and told him and he went back to sleep but I was to excited so I watched TV and thought oh my baby will be here soon and then the next morning Jamie wanted to stay at home with you and I was said it might take a while so you to go work, so he went to work and started handing over all his work to his staff while I stayed at home and tidied the babies room and started nesting and then it all stopped. Oh the shame. Total false alarm I was livid. And embarrassed Jamie had told everyone at work that I was going into labour, so now I look like a big fat liar.


And then as if to rub salt in the wounds the baby kicked me loads to show me who was boss.

Anyway am trying all natural methods this week like curries, raspberry tea and yes even sex not sure how this is going to be achieved maybe with lots of pillows, anyway I am ready to be a Mum and totally ready to stop being pregnant.

Stay tuned xxxx

p.s. doesn't it seem like I have been pregnant for ages? like forever.

Almost there

Only two weeks until my due date but babies never come on due date so could be from now until 5th of may. Because I am the size of a small whale I would like the baby to come sooner rather than later. I keep on having dreams that I am going into labour and then waking up all disappointed. Also Jamie has decided that he doesn't like any of our names so we are back to square one.

I have stopped work so am spending lots of time relaxing, actually that is a bit of a lie I have been writing a whole lot of complaint letters and having lunch with friends.

I am a massive slow moving creature
Big belly, I would like to say the angle of the photo makes my belly look bigger but that would be a lie. But also see I have no stretch marks and still have an innie belly button. So it's not all bad.

Big feet with no ankles

Also have noticed with all these photos taken of pregnant me that i still have a major eyebrow problem , in photos I look like i have no eyebrows, Elizabeth the 1st style. And it's under all lighting conditions so I can't even blame the flash.

xxxxx

Here's an interesting conversation

Yesterday Jamie said to me
'Don't get me an Easter egg'
I said 'Okay, why'
He said 'Because we have got each other lots of presents recently' In reality he bought me a card for Valentines day and a bathrobe for our anniversary, hardly a showering of gifts, not that I am being ungrateful but I'm just saying.
I said 'Okay but still get me some chocolate.'
He said 'No'
I said 'Pardon me?'
He said 'No' and he wasn't even trying to wind me up he was being serious... SERIOUS!

Big old elephant drea

Now I am quite lucky because although I have gained weight all over most of it has been on my belly, but there is no denying that my belly is a very big one.

When I went for my latest mid-wife check and I told Jamie how much I weighed he said ‘Whoa that’s massive,’ Can you believe it? Supportive husband my arse.

And then the other day when I was walking away he said to me ‘You have put on weight on your bum.’ What a sod, I need to do some serious re-husband training.

Below photographic evidence of the massive baby belly and huge arse.

Me in early March, you will notice I am not wearing a bra and I am still posting this picture because the maternity bras I wear at the moment are so hideous they make no difference to the shape of my boobs anyway.


And me last week trying to see my feet and failing, I can’t even remember that last time I saw my fanny.

Last Sunday it was Jamie and I 2nd wedding anniversary and the present is cotton, and we bought each other the same present! We both got each other new cotton bathrobes which is kind of sweet and kind of creepy at the same time.

xx

Hello little Bennett

This is my babies face at 34 weeks. It’s cute I know you don’t need to tell me. Also the lady that did the scan said the baby has a big head. Why would you tell me this? Why? and also it’s a massive monster. Already it’s 5 pounds 8 ounces and I have six weeks to go. It better stop growing my internal organs are getting squashed.

But on the upside it is all ready to go facing the exit and now I think it is a girl because it is a lazy bugger and doesn’t move all that much expect to tell me if I am in a position that it doesn’t like, it gives me a good kick and doesn’t quit until I move. In fact it just kicked me now because it felt the tiniest bit of pressure from my laptop. It is a stubborn girl, Jamie said like it’s Mum, I would love to disagree but I do have a bit more self-awareness than that.

Weekend mini-break

The baby is coming! So Jamie and I went away to the country for the weekend because we didn’t know when we would be able to have another holiday, also I had forgotten what fresh air smelled like. And did you know when you are not in London you can see stars at night? I had forgotten.

Anyway we went out to west sussex or Kent or somewhere and had two days r&r before the baby came. We went for a walk which felt like about 10 k’s long and it took us an hour to walk it when we looked on the map it was about half a kilometre. I am a slow moving creature at the moment.

Then we went and had lunch in a cafe where we were the youngest people by about 100 years. And get this Jamie had a chicken roll and chips, I had an egg sandwich and we had a scone, a coffee and a smoothie and it cost us about 20p. Awesome non-london prices.

We had a swim and I had to use a flotation device because my baby was weighing me down and then I had a massage and ate delicious three course meal and fell sleep.

Below are photos.

Jamie outside the local castle which was closed to the public and to us.

Me standing on really, really, really old roman ruins.

Jamie likes this photo of me I think i look hideous.

Me being a road block and stopping other people from walking down the path.