So here I am, after disappearing into baby fog for a few weeks. Mackay was 6 weeks old yesterday and is very cute he looks a lot like his father and has my blue eyes and has very long arms and legs, we have no idea where he gets that from. Oh and he is a monster, a massive baby, I am worried I am feeding him too much but the doctor said no such thing but they she doesn’t have to carry him around all the time.
Mackay is a very good baby and sometimes we have to wake him up in the day because he sleeps longer than 2 hours! At night sometimes if I am really lucky I get two 4 hour blocks, but not last night, last night I got three 3 hours blocks which means I got 6 hours sleep in two hour blocks so I apologise for the grammar and spelling.
Mackay is perfect but I have had a hell of a time, my contractions were quite painful because I was induced but I had an epidural so the birth wasn’t actually that bad, but I had forceps and they had to cut me which is called an episiotomy and I was sitched up. Well a week later after three midwives looked at it and saying it was fine I had a bit of a fever and went to the doctor and she had a look down there and the stitches had completely burst open and got infected. Jamie had a look and said it was uber gory.
So I went to the hospital and had to stay for a week go under general ananthetisc and the Mac was with me and the most of the midwives were quite mean, so I would have to wake up in the middle of the night and change him, feed him myself with a 40 degree temperature. And as you may know I am one tough old bitch but it was the worst week of my life hands down. Even now as I am writing about it I am crying. I never thought I could be that low. I can’t tell you how much guilt I feel about that fact that my son would cry in the middle of the night and I didn’t have the energy to pick him up. It literally broke my heart. It was awful for me, Mac and for Jamie who could only stay during visiting hours. And who had to pick his wife up off the floor every five minutes.
So after emergency surgery they sewed my up I am calling it my Vaginoplasty. I have a scar down there, how weird.
And no one slept not me, Jamie or Mac. Not an experience I would wish on anyone.
But then I got out and I thought my troubles were over and I though it can’t get any worse than this, so in no particular order here is what else has happened to me physically since he was born, warning not for the faint hearted you have been warned.
1. piles caused by giving birth, this really annoys me because I have always had an excellent digestion/explusion system.
2. A nipple cut open by his mouth which has still not healed at the moment it’s about one centimetre wide and is raw. Also the doctor told me to keep loads of air on it so I am walking around the house with my tit out and I long to wear a bra, never thought I would say that.
3. Thrush caused by the massive doses of antibiotics I took and I couldn’t use soap and had to wash it off with water, which lets just say wasn’t very effective
4. The latest thing to hit me was a severe bout of diahoerra which latest 7 days, I mean severe, I couldn’t hold anything in and I had cramps so bad I was going to call the ambulance, but then I did a fart and I was sweet. I went to the doctor and she told me to go nil by mouth by 24 hours. Which I though cool I can do that, four hours in I was desperate for food, my milk supply went way down and neither Mac or I was getting enough food which pissed us both off. Today I did a normal poo and I would have danced with joy, had the diahorrea not irritated my piles.
So physically I have been through the ringer, mentally I don’t even know where to start. Needless to say it doesn’t take much to make me cry. and I had an easy pregnancy and then six weeks of drama. Every time I thinks it’s over something else attacks me. I need a long holiday in the Bahamas.
But through it all I have been reminded that I have the most supportive loving husband in the world and a family in New Zealand that really love me and I’m lucky because although I know my family love me sometimes because they are so far away I forget how much but as soon as I got sick the rallied around me and Jamie to support us, my sister left her family to come and look after mine, my dad and stepmother funded her trip and my mother, brother-in-law, dad and step-mother all organised childcare of my nephew. It was an amazing outpouring of love and I am forever grateful because as I said to my sister I would died without her here. So I the moral of the story is you may not always have your health but you always have the people you love oh and also avoid using the NHS at all costs.
Next time an upbeat, funny post I promise I suspect it may be related to my need to get my pre-pregnancy figure back. I have to go now as the monster has woken up and needs some boob action.
Xxxxx
Ps to all my friends that are thinking of having babies or are pregnant know that my experience was very rare this hardly ever happens and also even if it did happen to you the good bits of having Mac far outweigh any bad bits.
