Here's looking at you

Oh and also had my eyebrows done on Tuesday she said they had good growth and now they look way better, still a bit thin on the ends but beggars can’t be choosers.
I am happy with them. It is the best that could be done under extremely difficult circumstances.

I have three words for you today.

I am a size 10.

Okay 4 words and a number.

And it begins.

Right wedding month has officially kicked off and after all the planning and stress and fights finally something fun is happening.
My brilliant girlfriends in London have organised an unforgettable hen night.

Actually I have no idea what is going on but last night there was a knock on my door so I went down the stairs in my high heels (I am wearing them in for the wedding, I don't usually wear high heels in the house or ever for that matter) and there was a golden box with a letter on top. Addressed to Andrea- The Bride (that’s me!) My first thought was that Jamie had given me a pre-wedding gift. Obviously I was in shock and not thinking clearly.

The letter had instructions for my hen weekend this weekend, where to come what to bring and crucially what to wear.

And then in the golden box was perfume and body lotion. Jamie was so jealous he screwed up his face like a six year old. I felt so spoiled and so excited. And it’s only Tuesday, imagine what I will be like on Friday afternoon. Uncontrollable.

Jamie is also off to his stag this weekend, I think he is going to an eastern block country to do some go-karting and see some naked ladies. I am not remotely jealous.

Thanks to all my hens! I can’t wait for the weekend to begin.

This Morning

Just got back to my desk after working out with my PT. I worked so hard I do not have enough strength to apply mascara. I did one eye but then gave up on the second. My arm was shaking too much. I also couldn’t hold my juice too my enough to drink it. So now I am weak and dehydrated and one eye looks bigger than the other.

And he made me do push ups. I could not even do one. Not one. And then I tried with my knees down and I still could not do one. I am a weakling. I did learn how to power lift today. Although there were no weights on the bar. But my technique was excellent. And I also did it while looking in the mirror and I realised that I do the weight lifting man face. I kind of screw up my face tighten my lips and do a short puff of breath.
See pic below.



I don't have a belt but I do have gloves. maybe I should get a belt or it that overkill? And will it help me do push ups?

another thing

Oh also I have lifted too many weights and now I have callouses on my hands. I am off tomorrow to buy weight lifting gloves to protect my delicate hands.
Someone once told me I could be hand model. He was a photographer. I don’t want to damage any future career paths.



Above is a picture. I am trying to get some leopard print ones. I think they scream classy lady

Conversations that Jamie and I have had.

After spending an hour getting ready for a wedding and spending over £140 pounds on a dress
Jamie: You know that dress you are wearing
Andrea: Yeah
Jamie: I think I know the problem with it
Andrea: If you going to say anything negative don’t say anything at all.
Jamie: Silence

Andrea: Hi
Jamie: Hi drea is it important? I am really busy at work.
Andrea: Yes it is important. Very important.
Jamie: What’s the problem?
Andrea: What am I going to have for my dinner?
Jamie: Goodbye. Hangs up

Andrea: Did you like the dinner I made you. I used up everything in the fridge.
Jamie: Yeah it was yummy.
Andrea: I thought it was yuck
Jamie: Yeah me too
Andrea: I’m not joking
Jamie: Me neither.

I was wearing heels and therefore taller than him. I had taken them off because my feet were sore.
Jamie: did you take your shoes off so I would be taller than you.
Andrea HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.


Andrea : I read today that having your cell phone beside the bed interrupts your sleep and can shorten your life
Jamie: hmm
Andrea: your blackberry is always on and always bedside the bed
Jamie: I have to have it on, it’s my job.
Andrea: you are shortening my life!
Jamie: Would you like to continue sleeping in the bed, in the house that my job pays for.
Andrea: Yes
Jamie: Well then. There’s nothing more to say.
Andrea: I am not happy. And a little bit closer to death.

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

I have a personal trainer. That’s right a little man who tells me what to do and what I am doing wrong, and I do a lot wrong. I know it is an expense but I am getting married in 5 weeks if I can’t spend money on my body now then when? Maybe if I wanted to be a stripper but I would only be a stripper in a high class joint and they don’t allow girls with stretch marks so that rules me out anyway.

So Bruce puts me through my paces twice a week for the next three weeks. I had my first session today and it was exhausting. Bruce my PT (or Personal Trainer) made me skip and to add to the embarrassment made me do it in front of a mirror. And I don’t think any sports bra could contain the mighty wave of movement of my boobs. My armpits are no longer talking to me and it’s sore to type, walk, eat and breathe.
To get fit for the wedding I am exercising seven days a week. I will outline my plan below. Do you care? Probably not but here it is anyway
Monday
One hour personal training
One-hour power walks with hand weights
Tuesday
One hour in the gym doing weights
Wednesday
Dance Aerobics (see below)
Thursday
One hour personal training
Friday
One hour in the gym doing weights
Saturday
2-hour power walk
Massage (I am an athlete now I have to take care of myself)
Sunday
40 minute run

Two words to describe the above. Hard Core.
I am not outlining this so you will congratulate me. I am just showing you what lengths I will go to have toned arms for the wedding. I am obsessed like a body builder minus the gold bikini and litres of fake tan.

And Jamie said today don’t loose too much weight I like it when you are curvaceous (translation he likes my boobs)

My favourite is dance aerobics on Wednesday nights. And the funny thing I always thought I was a good dancer, I thought if only I could sing I could easily be the next Britney Spears (I know I am 28 but I’ve been told that I look a lot younger, one drunk man once told me I look 21 and I’m clinging to it). But it turns out I am the Ginger spice of the class. I have no natural rhythm, can’t follow directions and probably most crucially can’t tell my left from my right.
So I swing my arms around and just memorise what direction everyone is going in and move that way. I seem to get through it.
This week I thought I had made a massive improvement so I came home and showed Jamie my routine, when I had finished (well done the bits I could remember with some freestylin’ in between) he had a look on his face that could only be described as horror. I wouldn’t be surprised if he cancelled the wedding.

Xxxx

Ps I woke up with 4 zits this morning after having good skin for ages. I blame the wedding and therefore J-me for asking him to marry me.

Also an update on the eyebrow situation, they are still under performing.