I was reading another blog yesterday and i saw a post which got me thinking about motherhood (i would link you to it but i can't find it now)
Anyway it talked about our standard responses and how really we are not very honest with each other. I think this is especially true of mothers.
When people say how are you finding motherhood, people say 'Oh I love it' 'He is my joy' 'I'm just so lucky to be a mother' And sure all these things are true for me and I'm sure lots for other people. But when someone asks me this is what I really want to say
'I find being a mother hard, it's like every other job some days are awesome and some days suck. I have been doing this for over a year and I still find it stressful and really, really, really hard. Did I say I find it hard? Some days I think I have it all figured out and then it changes, and I hate it when it changes. I have so may joyous moments with Mackay but I have some pretty boring ones too. And even now I still mourn for the person I was and I miss that person. Oh and I really miss sleep.'
Now I don't mean for this to sound angry or ungrateful but guess what? some days I am angry and ungrateful, other days I feel on top of the world and like I have all the blessings one person can handle. But what gets me through those hard moments is talking to someone who understands, who I can be honest with and who is honest with me. I want more of these people!
I guess I hope that one day, as mothers, we can cut the crap a bit and when someone asks how are I am instead of saying 'Oh you know fine.' I can say 'I am shit, this motherhood thing is far harder than I ever imagined.'
xxxx
3 comments:
Hey dude, ironic that you are surrounded by non-whinging pohms. Seems so wrong somehow. Anyway, I can report from the frontline of motherhood in nz that I have at least 6 (well now i'm counting it's actually more than that)great friends who cover up nothing about this most amazing, endless, fantastic, head bangingly boring, love-filled, screamingly frustrating, joyous, unpaid, emotional rollercoastering, undervalued work of our lives. Come home soon dude, sounds like the whingers you are looking for live here. Miss you. Karen xxx
My friend said to me recently that having a baby makes your life twice as good and twice as bad... I think this is so true... The joys are more joyful and you've never felt such love... But the frustration and limitations are harder than ever before too and oh the guilt and worry!! Sometimes I think I am the most honest in my mothers group too... you should have seen the look I got when I told everyone on the first day that I was jealous of my husband for going to work, getting a coffee and reading his email. Love xxx
twice as good and twice ad bad i exactly what it does. i am still jealous of jamie going to work although not of catching the tube everyday. xxx
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