I am Dontella Versace

I have just had a St Tropez spray tan (the same brand that Vikki Beckham uses FYI) I had to stand naked except for a disposable g-string (which did not cover much) and was covered in brown sticky stuff and now I am at home waiting to turn a darker shade of pale.
I asked her to do it extra dark, so I can freak the girls at work out.
Then is another company that you can choose your shade of tan, there are ten shades and they have even sparyed albinos! I asked if the albino in question had red eye, she said she didn't know.

This is the colour I will be. ala vikki beckham.