You know when you fill out a medical history questionnaire and it says ‘Do you have any heart conditions.’ Well I always tick yes because I have a heart murmur, so when I got pregnant I thought oh this could be serious, the baby putting all this extra strain on my heart , it works 40 % harder you know, pumping all the extra blood to the baby.
Anyway so off I went for heart scan, and then I went to see the consultant last week waited for ages and had to be publicly weighed, (humiliating), Anyway so all his hoppla and then the consultant says to me you have a perfectly normal healthy heart. Nothing to worry about, I can’t even hear a heart murmur. Well there are two explanations for this:
1) I have healed myself, it’s a miracle! I am like Jesus, expect I only heal myself, so a selfish Jesus
2) Or the second explanation, my parents lied to be about having a heart murmur, entirely plausible since I have never had any symptoms or problems with my heat at all, ever. So really my parents and let’s be honest, probably my Mum has Muchanahuasen by-proxy.
All this time my parents said I had to be careful, had to take anti-biotics when I went to the dentist, had to take it easy when I was doing sports and there was nothing wrong with me, nothing at all! (the heart murmur was not the only reason I was taking it easy when I was doing sports, I am kind of lazy) I am keeping this story in my pocket for when I go into therapy and discuss my parents, let me tell you. Complete parental sabotage.
Love a perfectly healthy if not a bit fat drea xxxx
