Saturday 27 September 2008

Johann and the pole

Johann has been visiting.
And the other day he tried to give me a pole. Let me explain. My dads house is full or crap. He has two spare bedrooms and a downstairs lounge and it is full of stuff. Some he sells on e-bay, some he has got from somewhere and doesn’t know where to put it and some I think he is saving for his retirement so he has something to look at it when he is no longer working. Anyway you can’t leave my Dads house with something in your hand. He is generous fellow and also has something which he thinks you will need. Once he gave us meat, that was past it’s expiry date. We did not eat it.

So before dad left to go home to NZ he had a flag and a flag pole but couldn’t take the pole into NZ because it was wood. And you can’t bring wood into NZ or they throw you into Jail and throw away the key.
And he said to Jamie ‘Look you can keep this pole and use it.’ (You will notice he targeted Jamie because he is the weak link and has not had the years of practice that I have had of fending off bits of crap thrown from Johann)
I quickly took over the negotiations.
And I said ‘What for?’ (side note my sister has a good tacit at dealing with this she says. Umm I don’ think I will use that old pot/broken glass/dead plant but thanks anyway Dad. I however try to re-educate him by challenging his perceptions of what is and is not useful in my life. I am fighting a never ending battle)
And he said ‘For things around the house.’
And I said ‘What things?’ Because I knew there was no use for the pole and there would never be a use for the pole.
And he said, Wait for it, ‘Poking the corner of your ceiling.’ When and why would I need to poke the corner of my ceiling?
Madman.
He also left a strange Austrian gnome thing in the bedroom which freaks Jamie out but I kind of like it.
Actually I have just thought of a purpose of the pole. I could use it to stir paint pots. Bugger, I made Dad throw it out to teach him a lesson.