So we had new locks fitted today. Because our old look was flimsy and we live in London so are constant under siege from people who want to steal our stuff. So we went from an old Yale lock to a pimped out mac daddy shiny new cooper lock. (Will attach picture later it is truly a masterpiece of engineering.)
Anyway I made the error of arranging the appointment when Jamie wasn’t at home. Which essentially meant when the boys gave me instructions on how to use the lock I had to remember it all by myself. The first time they explained I listened for about 30 seconds and then I started to think about what I was wearing on Saturday and realised far too late that he had finished explaining stuff and I hadn’t heard a word. So I asked him to explain again and then realised why I had tuned out the first time, because it was too complicated and I couldn’t understand it. And then I asked him to go through it a third time and he said ‘don’t worry all the instructions are in the leaflet.’ Hmm so I read the leaflet and it is two paragraphs long and that is just how to open the door, which includes the following ‘turn the lock a quarter in the outside cylinder and rotate to the stop (which way you fools, surely this is key in opening a lock instructions!) move the door in the opening direction whilst holding the bolt in the withdrawn position with the key until the bolt projects…’ Holy shit I think I am spending a night in the rain, seriously a NASA scientist could not open this door.
So before I left today I was very careful with the lock and that’s right you guessed I locked myself in and couldn’t get out of my own house. Had a mild panic and had to ring the shop to get them to explain the lock to me, they were very amused. I was not. God knows how I am going to get inside tonight. Wish me luck.
xxxxx
