I'm back and I'm bad

No blog update in so long I am sorry. I am lazy and now have a journal that I empty my head into rather than online, but will try to be better from now on. Do I always promise this? I feel like I am caught in a cycle.

Brief update below of what I have been up to.

Am wearing these ugly fit flops to try and tone my legs and because the dreaded tendonitis is back and they are comfortable. Jamie refuses to go out with me if I wear them. So I smuggle them into my bag and swap shoes when he is not looking. Emily also refuses to be seen with me if I am wearing them. They are not a popular shoe. And I am not popular when I wear. Picture below.



We are doing DIY to the house, we have turned our cupboard into a study and got new light fittingings. We are now trying to remove the dodgy 80’s artex from the ceilings and paint the walls. We are so bad at DIY we have had to buy a “How to paint and decorate’ DVD from the DIY shop. It was beyond embarrassing.

I still miss Murray and I am angry at ginger that she survived and I always forget to feed her and can’t be bothered to change her tank water. I can’t help it of I loved Murray more than ginger, ginger is boring. I think I am trying to kill her. The thing stopping me from ending her life is that the tank cost me £36 and I don’t want to waste money. Jamie keeps on asking me if I have feed her because he knows that I am still not over Murray’s death and am taking it out on Ginger. I had a dream last night that she grew to the size of a carp and I had to get a new tank, but I just decided to flush her down the toilet instead. Not hard to guess the sub text there. I am a mean person and am going to hell. I wonder if I will like one of my children more than the others. It looks likely.

Sorry was distracted by the TV am watching Send in the dogs which is about police dogs in the UK. And they have dogs that are part of the Armed forces squad that can absail. They attach the dog to harness and lower it into places. Dangerous places where the dog could get shot, but it doesn’t seem to mind, ignorance is bliss I guess.

Have I ever told you about my local post office? Every single time I go there it is like walking into a social security office. There is always one person who is drunk, mentally ill and high on heroin and one person is a dangerous combination of all three. And I go there at 9:00 on a Monday morning. And one person is always cleaning out their post office bank account to buy drugs, I am not assuming this I once saw a women get out £157 and then give it her dealer who gave her a package. And the drunk guy is always standing behind me, too close. And breathing on me. I really have to fortify myself to venture into the post office, usually with a glass of wine, at 9:00 in the morning so now I have become one of them. I have been in London too long.

Love drea xxx