Well since my blog updating had been almost non-exixstant this year I will try to amke this update a big one. Also I ahve been through the mill this year lots of ups and downs and ups and down and then down some more and back up again, so forgive me if it gets cheesy, emotional and a bit soapy (as Johann would say)
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
So much it’s ridiculous, but the most important is became a mum! And everything that goes along with that.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Surprisingly I achieved two out of three, my grey roots are under control and in the last few months I have been walking everyday although the weather is too cold to take mac out so we have been indoors a lot. I haven’t learnt to French plait my hair but i had it all cut off anyway into a mum-bob so don’t need it. Also I think I might cut it shorter again as after I gave birth I lost all my hair and now it’s growing back I have a weird mullet and I thought a fringe would fix it, it didn’t. So now I look like Paul McCartney, circa 1987. See picture below.
Next years my goals are simple to make some new mum friends because I get a bit lonely during the day and to lose my baby weight. Which annoyingly is only 5 kilos but man those 5 kilos mean that I can’t fit any of my old clothes, annoying and my body has completely changed shape and when I say changed shape I mean gotten fatter especially in the back area, I tried one of my pre-pregnancy bras on last week, it was not a pretty site. Oh and also to update my blog more, although I am now sure you all know that this is something of an empty resolution as I promise to do this every year and yet my blog posts are getting fewer.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me! And my good friends Jaime and kirsty plus three of my friends are popping next year, baby overload.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Again I am blessed lots of births and no deaths which is the way it should be.
5. What overseas cities/countries did you visit?
I don’t think I went overseas once, saddo, we thought we were going to go to spain with when mac was three months old but I was in no shape to travel.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Sleep, I know every new parent says this but nothing prepares you for not sleeping. Aslo every parent I think would like more time to themselves but I am pretty lucky we have a nanny two afternoons a week and Jamie does his fair share so I get some time to do my own stuff. also I have resigned myself to the fact that sleep and loads of spare are something that as a parent you just don’t get very much of.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
my son was born on Saturday the 8th of March, oh my god I mean May! I am not good with dates really. I used to sing happy birthday to him every Saturday but Jamie told me it was lame and to stop, which I did but only last week.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving my first 8 months of motherhood. Man it was rough and really hard work and I did fall to pieces several times. I wish I could say that I survived my first year with strength and grace but it doesn’t feel like that, it feels like I feel down at the first hurdle and am still getting back up. But man I love it now, he is on a routine which has saved me and I love being a housewife, and feel really lucky that Jamie’s job allows me to stay at home with him.
Also I will never take my health for granted ever, ever again. When I got sick I couldn’t even stand for five minutes let alone tidy the house. Now even when I do something simple like making dinner I still think how lucky I am to be able to do it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
All of the first four months of his life I felt like a failure in fact I said it many times to anyone that would listen. I just honestly thought looking after a newborn would be easier. But now I realise that everyone has problems like I had it’s no big deal, it’s not a failure to find looking after a baby hard, it’s just life.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Um apart from my vaginia getting infected and bursting open! That was the sickest I think I have ever been and it was the most serious I think, though I was so out of it I didn’t really know what was going on. I remember saying ‘I feel a little bit hot’ and the nurse taking my temperature and then about 8 medical staff all busting in my room and my vision going funny. Proper ER style. I think I was really sick then and I had emergency surgery which was intense and although I am grateful for the nhs being free to everyone to be honest the nursing care I received was pretty sub-standard and made me feel worse.
And if only the infection was the end of it, I have a list as long as my arm of illness nad injuries, most of which are gruesome, basically ever part of my body was attacked this year but I survived I am still here and I am more careful with myself now.
Also those people that say ‘Oh you love your body more after you have had a child because it has given you this amazing gift’ well they are liars. I want my pre-baby boobs back thanks very much.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A pram that folds and is compact! It has made my life so much easier. How boring is that and for something a bit more rock and roll I also bought some kick arse biker boots which were expensive and Jamie said I could only buy them if I wore them lots, I said if course I will wear them every day! So far I have worn them twice, since September.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
well first my sister who dropped her life and rushed over here to take care of me, I am still in awe of her that she did it and also my family who supported her and her family to do it. I was in a really crappy situation and I felt like a shell of the person I was or would ever be again and i know i have said this before but man I have never felt more loved by my family than at the moment.
Also a special mention has to go to my husband who has supported me and taken care of my through the most difficult year of my life.
Oh and also my little boy Mackay, he is so special and I am a typical proud mum and clap and cheer when he does the most ordinary things, he gets claps of burps, poos and all his bodily functions.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Some of the midwives that took care of me weren’t that nice to be honest which surprises me because I thought nurses were supposed to be caring and considerate, it turns out yeah not always.
14. Where did most of your money go?
baby, baby, baby all our savings are now gone into the money pit that is Mackay.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
When he slept through the night I woke up feeling so rested. I felt like a new woman and the fact that he now does it regularly excites me. Also when Mackay rolled over, crawled stood and now almost is walking he gets this little look of excitement on his face that makes me excited.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Make you feel my love by adele, I cry when I hear this song and sing it to Mackay because man I never thought I could love anything as much as I love him. Also the Florence and the machine song which has a line in it saying 'the dark days are over' because that is how I felt when motherhood started being fun and not shit.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier, I have a lovely little boy, there are no words to describe how happy this makes me.
b) thinner or fatter?
Thinner than last year, woohoo! (I’m not even mentioning that fact that I was pregnant and just before I gave birth I was 105 kilos, a monster) But not as thin as I want to be. Boo!
c) richer or poorer?
poorer, savings all gone and with a baby that grows at a higher than average rate I always have to buy him new clothes.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
This year was so hard just surviving it was an accomplishment.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressing, I was so afraid I was doing everything wrong with him and creating all these bad habits, such a waste of time. I have realised that babies pretty much come out with a personality and you can nudge them in certain directions but really they make a lot of decisions themselves.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
with Emily, Aaron and foetus chan and Jamie and mackay. Emily and Aaron cooked us a delicious dinner. I was mega homesick though and really missed the good old new Zealand family Christmas.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Yeap with baby mackay, it took me a while but now I can’t imagine loving anything more.
22. What was your favourite TV program?
The Apprentice was one big fat disappointment, it has totally lost it’s sparkle so Downton Abbey it would have to be. Also Jamie and I have watched the whole first and second season of True Blood in less than two weeks. I am now so immersed in it that I am starting to believe the characters are real and so Jamie has given me a time out and said I can’t watch the third season for 12 whole weeks. What a meanie.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I have a strong dislike for some of the midwives that ‘took care of me’ when I was re-admitted the hospital. I think they were just unnecessarily rude and nasty. Also Kate Middleton irritates me but I can’t decide if that’s her or because she scored Princess Diana’s ring which I am uber jealous of. Oh and I forgot our landlord from hell on our old flat, she is a bitchfacepoobrainshitpants
24. What was the best book you read?
A fraction of the whole, (Awesome) Never let her go (almost as awesome) and The white tiger (maybe as awesome)
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Radio 4, which isn’t actually music it’s a talk radio channel but it keeps my mind active, I listen to woman’s hour every day and then the radio documentary and even the radio play serial. Total saddo.
26. What did you want and get?
Diamond earrings as my push present from Jamie and a happy healthy baby (does this make me look shallow, should I have said the baby first?)
27. What did you want and not get?
Where do I start, a complication free birth, my health, my pre-baby figure back, a personal chauffeur, a five bedroom mansion. The list could go on.
28. What was your favourite film of this year?
I am getting really old because all the movies I have seen this year have blended into one gigantic movie of which I have no recollection.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 31 and Jamie bought me lovely flowers and a cake and an ipod nano and I don’t want to sound old but man it’s small and it really is amazing that you can fit loads of music on that tiny little thing. Remember I have from the walkman generation, my old sony walkman was so big I needed two hands to carry it, which would explain why I left it on a plane when I was 8, it was just too heavy for my little hands to carry. And then I thought it would be nice to go for a walk to the zoo but really the zoo was very expensive, very average and Mac kicked off and screamed the whole time. So not very relaxing. Next year the goal is to go out to dinner with my husband.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
This question is to hard I can’t answer it. Pass.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Comfort plus can I put it on in 30 seconds plus can stains easily wash out of it. I have completely given up on any sense of style.
32. What kept you sane?
My husband again man he puts up with a lot and my sister has done a particulary awesome job of keeping things in perspective for me. But to be honest this year I have had a very loose hold on my sanity and I went over the edge a couple of times. It was mostly sleep deprivation I think. Also I have started running again and man the experst are right, exercise really does help.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
This again is too hard to answer, pass.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Man if I had time to think about poltical issues I would be a very lucky lady.
35. Who did you miss?
All my family and friends in new zeland, now more than ever.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I have actually met a lot of lovely mums in the area this year but of course my baby Mackay tops the list, with the parcelforce delivery guy second. I answered the door once breastfeeding Mackay and he remembers me every time he delivers a parcel, he says, hello Mrs Bennett and we have a chat about the weather, which is usually shit, and then he goes on his way. He’s very nice. Oh and I forgot Mars our doula who not only helped my through my birth but also took every single paniacky phone call I made to her and answered my dumbest questions about baby related issues. At one time I was calling her so much I was practically stalking her.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010
I have thought about this loads and there are two.
The first is from my sister who sent me a card for my birthday this year which says ‘Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel.’ Because you never know which turn your life will take so like a cowboy, you just have to ride it out.
Also this is one which I have been pondering on lately. I used to think that certain things in my life I had control over , and I would think look at all the good things I have in life (a husband with a good job, a loving family, a beautiful son, an education) and how hard I worked for them and don’t I deserve all these amazing things. What I have realised now is that I am just lucky. I think luck plays a far greater role in my life than I give it credit for. So for 2011 I am just going to hope that my good luck keeps coming.
xxxxxxx
